A kind of heartbreak

I’d love to meet someone who knows my kind of heartbreak:

A reality is shared between you and an Other; but then the other changes and the reality is no longer shared.

The Other comes to you with a radically different reality and retroactively disinterprets the reality you once shared in a new, alien and alienating light. Faith is entirely a matter of practicing truth; what is practiced now is apartness, estrangement. What was shared cannot even be recalled. The relationship is annulled – annihilated not only in the present and future but also in the past.

In my experience, this estrangement is felt generally before it can even be traced back to the particular Other who has effected the estrangement. The entire world darkens, the nerves lose their protecting skin. Something is wrong. (I believe this sense of general wrongness was how Jesus knew he had been betrayed by one of his disciples.)

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