Dialogue is the mode of relation between people. It is the sharing of meaning through speech. Acting upon (manipulation) is the mode of relation between a person and an object.
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Issuing a command (or obeying a command) might involve use of words but it is the furthest thing from dialogue. It is a verbal form of acting upon (or being acted upon).
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Regardless of the benevolence of one’s intentions, to act upon another person in the absence dialogue is to relate to a person as a thing.
To break off dialogue with another person while continuing to relate in other modes (however benevolently) is dehumanizing.
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Someone breaks off communication, but continues to acts upon us from a distance, but does not speak with us. We feel that something is deeply wrong. The answer we are given: Have faith that the other’s intentions are good and that you will eventually benefit.
The popular ethic only understands interests: 1) Does this silent person intend to help or harm, and 2) will he successfully actualize his intentions? The popular ethic knows no objection to benevolent dehumanization.
Who cares about malevolence and benevolence? I’d rather be hated as a fellow-human than be loved as a tool or possession or mirror.
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Someone might take loving care of his property, but do we want to be someone’s property?
Was slavery wrong only because some slaves were mistreated? If all slaves were well-fed, well-clothed, well-housed and not physically abused, would it make slavery acceptable?
What if slaves could opt to change owners? Would slavery then become acceptable?
What if a slave is permitted to change owners at will and is also given a generous allowance?
At what point does the slave become a free person?
What is essentially unacceptable about slavery?
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Before an infant has come to identify things as things, she has learned to expect a response when she cries, and she has learned to respond to the response she receives.
Dialogue is the first relationship to emerge from the chaos of birth.
Relationship with things and self come later.
(Each relationship threatens to eclipse that which came before.)
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It is not enough for an organization to benefit its employees, partners and customers.
Similarly, it is not enough for a parent to be only a provider.