Discussing one’s life story, beliefs, hopes and loves over a candle-light dinner is far less intimate than collaborating on a shared practical life problem — which is why most people prefer the former to the latter, and it is also why soul-mates get divorces.
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Without active involvement in the world with others, subjectivity is limited to the self. This is why those who need to cultivate their faith withdraw from practical life.
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The collaborations that most demand intimacy are the ones that cause the most anxiety, and arouse the strongest aggressive impulses. In such cases, whoever is in a position of power will be faced with the temptation to impose his own vision on the situation and force others involved in it to accept it whether they like it or not.
Initially this is true for most and not all collaborations. I can see how if overcoming anxiety is the highest value to be sought in all collaborations how it would be personally true to some extent, but it seems to me that anxiety is not something that has to be had personally or in collaboration.
I may be misunderstanding you.
I do think that most internal capacities whether shared or not are largely misdirected and when directed properly that they can be quite productive but I don’t think it so much that I would extol the virtues of anxiety.