Susan and I worked out a schema of attitudes toward otherness:

1. Violence – active, suppressive hostility toward otherness (“This person must be silenced by any means necessary.”)
2. Contempt – passive, disengaged hostility toward otherness (“This person deserves to dismissed and disregarded.”)
3. Tolerance – passive, disengaged acceptance of otherness (“Everyone has their own thing, their own opinion.”)
4. Respect – active, engaged consideration of otherness across individuality (“This person’s opinion is relevant and deserves a response.”)
5. Relationship – active, engaging of otherness within commonality (“I want to maintain mutual understanding with my friend.”)
6. Love – active affirmation of inexhaustible otherness within commonality — embrace of otherness, per se (“I will never finish knowing this person, thank God.”)